The subconscious mind will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.
William James
The problem with most of us today is that we are more intimate with the situations we want to avoid than we are the situations we want to attract.
Last week I tried my hardest to be on sabbatical. I didn’t read much, stayed away (mostly) from social media. And told my team I’d be out until the following week. One thing that bubbles to the surface when I’m not working – and this is about as honest as I can get with you – is fear.
When I have time to settle, not busy myself, and not “produce produce produce,” my first instinct is to think about what could go wrong. This is a problem, and I guarantee I’m not the only one who deals with this.
Just because nobody’s talking about it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
When I’m writing, working, pushing, leading, speaking, producing — there is an element of ‘calm’ because I know what I’m capable of. When I’m doing none of these things, I think, “Who am I, without my work?”
Some will read this and think, “no problem with that, we all love to work, just work.” But I look at it and think — what am I so afraid of?
Fear is a tripwire that always costs us more than the thing we’re afraid of actually coming to pass. Cognitive distortion is always worse than the reality — but the dangerous part here is that through cognitive distortion, we can actually recreate our fears in the real world.
The brain doesn’t understand that you’re trying to avoid something. It simply goes, “Well, we’re thinking about this all the time.. let’s make it a reality.” Pay attention to your subconscious here, and it will show you the undercurrents of your entire life.
Two Sides to Attraction
A friend yesterday was sharing a story with me. One of HIS best friends called him a year ago and told him some bad news. He said, “I have cancer, and I’m not sure what to do.”
Here’s the backstory:
The guy with cancer had been a truck driver for many years. One day, he decided he wanted to be home more – and he began to complain about being away from home, wanting to see his family more, and spend time with his relationships back in town. But, ‘the money is good,’ he would say, ‘I just can’t give that up.’ Don’t judge whether the money was actually good or not — just a listen to the story because it applies to you more than you think.
When he first started discussing the desire to stay home and be around town more, funny things started happening. A tire would blow out, then the spare would blow out too. Engines wouldn’t start, he’d randomly lose keys…
His life went from “decent” to “not so good,” but he kept going.
My friend was telling me this story yesterday and I knew where it was going. “Finally,”my friend said, “his mind goes… well, there’s only one thing left that can get him off the road to spend more time at home.” He got cancer, and had to go into treatment.
The day my friend got the call about the cancer diagnosis, he said this is response, “Excellent. You finally got off the road… you don’t need the cancer anymore. Now you get to beat it — you don’t need it anymore.”
The guy went through remission and is doing fine.
Am I saying that beating cancer is as simple as thinking positively? I’m not a doctor and I don’t think it’s always that simple. But the point is this: when you are experiencing negativity or problematic circumstances in your life, business, etc— ask yourself “where did this come from?”
Sometimes they are issues of our own making. Most resistance, in hindsight, is of our own making.
The proper response is not to adversarially war against them. Most times, the response is simply this: “Thank you … I don’t need you anymore.” Then let it go.
There are always two sides to fear:
- You will attract the things you think about — beware rehearsing your fears more than you rehearse your dreams
- If you rehears your dreams, but do not chase them, prepare for life to – ahem –force you into them
When you sit down to think and design your life – you should be mindful of these truths.
A great example of this in podcast form, if you haven’t listened yet: