You will have to make a choice.
I’ll explain what I mean by that in a second. But for now, best to start with the acceptance that nothing in your life is going to happen against your direct involvement.
We can create it. That’s one option. We do this by doing and not doing. You’ve probably heard of the BE / DO / HAVE model. It’s technically incorrect but it can work on a Newtonian level.
To have, you must do. To do, you must be.
We can allow it. That’s another option. When someone is treating you negatively and you stick around for it, you are allowing it to happen to you. This isn’t just true with people but with circumstances.
How many stories have you heard that go like this:
“I was experiencing this [circumstance] over and over again… one day I just decided, NEVER AGAIN.” You reach a breaking point and decide to unallow it.
You can feed it, that’s the third.
Some things are fed (consciously or subconsciously). Some people need dysfunction like they need to breath. The entrepreneur who is addicted to chaos. The wife who is addicted to abuse. Sometimes we build our lives on the familiarity with a problem; live there too long and your psychology can’t imagine being without it.
You might not be able to snap your fingers and change all of this.
But brick by brick, you can learn to choose to live a life you want to live. We’re going to have to break away from old school “linear” science to do this. In the source code of the universe there is a backdoor master key.
You can use this key to slowly (but surely) change, or warp, the trajectory you are on. The secret is not positive thinking. The secret is obsession. Fear is a form of obsession. So is hope. Worry is a form of obsession. So is trust.
What you are obsessed with, you will create.
I’m working a lot in the spiritual lane. My reputation grew because of my ability to grow businesses. I learned marketing and became good at it. One day I had one client. Then I woke up and had 4,000 clients and hundreds of employees.
But the content that is growing now is not the business content.
Business is just a conduit. You are the machine that must evolve. A business is a complex map of the founder’s psychology. Most business problems are just personal problems that are bleeding into the business.
My 1:1 clients, and most of my bigger firm’s consulting clients, are growing their brands by dealing with their inner shit. Market / message match is so much easier when you don’t have daddy issues running your entire life. Building great products is a lot simpler when you aren’t escaping your past. I get it…
You were poor.
You were lonely.
You were burned out.
But you aren’t those things now. And if you are, you don’t have to be. But life looks at you and asks this question: “what is this person CHOOSING to have by the way that they exist?”
Exist… not behave.
If you do all the right things but do not have the right frequency (which comes from your level of existence), you will accrue the resources of a great business and then give it all back when the business fails you.
Go deep on this here:
Then binge the rest of the channel.
This is dense material. My flagship work (Belief Architecture) takes you into the inner operating room of your actual core beliefs. Your beliefs drive your feelings and those feelings move your choices left or right.
I’m writing this to tell you that it doesn’t have to be hard. But it isn’t simple, either. You will have to practice until you see what you say rather than saying what you see.
You will have to speak to yourself in a way that is instructive and predictive. The more you practice, the freer you become.
Living well is not about accomplishing more.
ACCOMPLISHING MORE IS ABOUT LIVING WELL.