Social media has officially hijacked evolution.
A lot of my work depends on social media. The problem is, the line between a “tool” and an “addiction” is very thin, and we are all getting lost at the line. It’s always interesting to read the commentary from all sides of every major issue.
Some issues require no debate. There is no nuance when it comes to harming kids or racial profiling — these things are wrong no matter who you are or where you come from. But then there are issues that are not so clean cut.
I’m not talking about shades of gray, I’m talking about context-dependencies. A leader must provide pressure for an underperforming team, but do so in a way that isn’t abusive. Social media has turned “overgeneralization” into an inherited cognitive heuristic.
We live in a sea of narrative distortions.
There is on going backwards, so I’ve been thinking a lot about how to make progress with where we’re at right now using the tools that we have. As someone with a sizable platform and strong viewpoints, I’ve had to adapt some of how I communicate to avoid being pigeonholed.
But the constant filtering doesn’t help. It only keeps the various sides entrenched. And it’ll burn you out having to filter for all sorts of peoples’ opinions all at the same time.
Let’s add something else to the dumpster fire: most people don’t even have opinions. They have self-esteem risks that are being triggered by anything they disagree with. With social media, our status is quantified by a brain running comparisons 24/7.
“Am I as good as this person?”
“If that person is right, does that make me wrong?”
“Where do I stack up in the grand scheme of things?”
You don’t even really choose what to focus on anymore. Your nervous system does. And social media is bypassing mostof your conscious brain to get you to consume what it wants you to assume.
If your content gets likes, you can stay in the tribe. If nobody engages, you are being ostracized. Of course, you know this isn’t true, but it’s what it feels like and thus you adapt to it.
Engagement > Truth
Extremes > Nuance
The point of me writing this isn’t to make the world seem like a scary place. I don’t believe that it is. It is just an overly-connected place. And we haven’t adapted to fully handle it.
For a pastor, leader, communicator or thought leader, this is dangerous. We need what God gave David in 2 Samuel when David wrote: “You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.” The dangers of being misunderstood require us to have our paths expanded so we do not slip and fall off the edge.
What you say will be remembered. It is the internet, after all; it never goes away. There are times when I will sit and look at notes before a podcast episode or an event I’m speaking at, and I will just ask God: “Please widen my path. I need help so I don’t say something that will be taken out of context or used to misrepresent you.”
At the end of the day, my #1 duty is not to be at the top of the social media leaderboard (although that can be admired if it is done correctly). It is not to be the richest (although resources can drastically improve the quality of what you are building).
My job, and your job, is much simpler.
It is to live in such a way that my life speaks for itself.
Think about it: that is all that exists.
Your life is like a book that is being written and read daily. When you go to bed at night, you complete a section of a small chapter of your life — what did it say? The trap is to get lost in fear, anxiety, and worry. These things erode you; not all at once, but slowly. Any amount of progress you achieve as a result of fear will be given back.
One of my favorite leaders to study is Theodore Roosevelt. At the end of a particularly difficult season, he organized “success” into two categories.
The first, he argued, belonged to the man “who has in him the natural power to do what no one else can do, and what no amount of training, no perseverance or willpower, will enable an ordinary man to do.” He put Abraham Lincoln in this category (which, ironically, Lincoln would never have agreed with; he had his fair share of self-image issues as we all do).
The second, Roosevelt said, is not dependent on natural gifts or abilities. This success depends entirely on “man’s ability to develop ordinary qualities to an extraordinary degree through ambition and the application of hard, sustained work.”
Unlike genius, this success is democratic, “open to the average man of sound body and fair mind.” He closes his thoughts with this: “it is more useful to study the second type, for with determination, anyone can, if he chooses, find out how to win a similar success himself.”
The greatest orators in history were not born that way. They developed their mastery through consistently chasing what mattered to them, over a lifetime of dedication.
I think social media is an incredible tool. I think platforms, stages, microphones and media channels are helpful. Can you imagine if the Apostle Paul had a YouTube channel?
But in a world that is clamoring for truth, I’ve seen too many catering to the approval ratings of their congregations, donors, contributors, and subscribers. I’m not judging. I’m just saying that is not a game worth playing.
The ones who are remembered for the right reasons are typically on the edge of what would be considered ‘normal.’ They are exciting to be around but dangerous in a way you can only describe as unpredictable.
My goal for this year is to say what needs to be said, which, at times, will be very different than the thing that would get me mass public approval. When you are hidden, enjoy it and use it as training grounds. When you are promoted, hold true to the virtues that put you there.
And if you are going to say something, don’t waste the world’s time saying what you think it wants to hear. Say the thing you’re afraid to say and let people wrestle with it.
-T
(PS, these are notes from an upcoming workshop we are doing for leaders called Transition & Tension; it walks through leadership profiles, communication styles, and practical tools for balancing transition for teams and organizations)